The Troubling Journey of a Name in the U.S.
For NSZ.
Thanks for helping me find myself.
I.
August 18, 2016.
First Name?
-Doménica.
How do you spell it?
-D. O. M. E. N. I. C. A.
Middle Initial?
-M.
Last Name?
-Montaño Moncayo
How do you spell that?
-M. O. N. T. A. Ñ. O
-M. O. N. T. A. N. O
As in Montana the State with an O in the end instead?
-Yes??
Sweet!
-and the rest is M. O. N. C. A. Y. O.
Okay. What’s your full middle name young lady?
-Michelle.
Welcome to the United States of America, you are now Michelle Montano.
1.
I had just arrived,
when they
translated me
into English.
Michelle,
they translated,
and I,
didn’t understand.
Montano,
they translated
And weirdly,
it felt safe.
Doménica
was too hard,
the “ñ”
too foreign,
and Moncayo,
my mother’s
last name,
too long.
Michelle
Montano
they translated,
and it
didn’t sound
so bad,
in their
mouths.
Michelle
Montano
they translated,
And I
became that,
that I hated my mom
to call me,
when she was mad.
It
hurt
me.
But,
I let them
translate me
because
in this country
Michelle
Montano
was safer
than
Doménica
Michelle
Montaño
Moncayo.
III.
Michelle, never spelled
her name for others,
only for
herself.
What’s your name?
People asked her,
Doménica
Michelle.
Oh nice! they said
How exciting are
familiar
names.
Of course! everything
is nice when you don’t
have to make any
sacrifice.
Michelle, yes!
what a wonderful name!
It only hurts
her.
In public or with friends,
Michelle only
spoke
English.
Spanish, used to
hide in her mind
like a dark
secret.
Abandoned, desolate
she left her soul.
Her heart, her
self.
Michelle, flowed like water
in their tongues.
And burned like acid in
hers.
Michelle was a liar,
who told lies.
Michelle, was a
lie.
But lies sometimes are better
than truths. They are easier to say,
and they keep us
safe.
IV.
Doménica Michelle Montaño Moncayo was born on June 1st, 1997 in that place, where the Earth divides in halves, and yet doesn’t collapse. It was a Sunday. Doménica means Sunday. Her mom says it was a Friday. She was never good at math.
Her mom named her Doménica because sonaba bonito. What a great reason! And because there was this Ecuadorian journalist whose name was Doménica and everyone loved. Doménica also wants to be a journalist.
Doménica loves her name. Unless her mother screams it from downstairs because she is running late. Doménica is original. It feels special. Unique. Yet, weirdly enough nobody really calls her Doménica. Almost never.
In Ecuador everyone has a nickname. Doménica never calls any of her friends by their actual names. They are Vane, Yadi, Emi, Chiqui, Coso, Zambra, Mabe, and so on. Nicknames are a sign of love. And so, she has a nickname too: Dome.
That is /d̪oˈme/. Not /dōm/ like dome. And it’s spelled Dome. Not Domé, like most people do in the U.S.. Domé, in Spanish is the past perfect simple of “domar” which literally means “to tame.” So when people say domé, they are literally saying that they tamed something or someone. That’s quite an unusual way of calling someone. Dome with no accents is fine.
And she likes it because it reminds her of her patria—of that little country in the middle of the globe that she calls home. And she mostly likes it because Dome is herself, and she is untranslatable and does not need an English version.